Why must I do ALL THE THINGS?

As I sit and ponder all the (other) things of high priority I should be doing today I decided I should just hack out a blog post that nobody reads. (I honestly totally forgot I had a blog)

This is going to be an unrefined and relatively unedited flow of thoughts.. so don’t judge me too harshly.

Today I am frustrated with my lack of focus; not just in general-obviously, but specifically with my art practice. There are these unspoken ‘rules’ that as an artist you should specialize in one medium, one style and dive deep with that vision to create a consistent body of work that is easily recognizable and… dare I say… digestible/sellable.

I do know that if I apply to a juried show or an art event the surest way to NOT get accepted is to send work that is from completely different bodies of work- although I wonder if they are only going to take one piece anyway, why not give them a variety of options so they can choose the piece that best fits their curatorial vision. Just a thought.

I fight this expectation, yet see the many benefits in painting the in the same theme, medium and style consistently over time. Approaching an art practice from this perspective allows for a greater depth of knowledge (subject, medium, theme), a physical familiarity that leads to deep muscle memory and subtleties that reach beyond intention into intuition. It helps to build a strong ‘body of work’ that gives you many perspectives of a singular allowing for much contemplation and inquiry. It is much easier to find representation, create an online ‘brand’ and to build an audience when everyone knows what to expect and you can deliver it consistently.

My issue is I want to do this with each and every idea that floats through my pumpkin head and do ALL THE THINGS, with ALL THE THINGS leaving me in a state of chaos internally and in my studio! I know I am not alone.. cue the thousands of memes and jokes about artists and the need to have every supply ever. It is so difficult to spend half of my studio day shopping for, making or learning about yet another sparkly tool, technique or approach.

I have painted in most mediums, am passably proficient in most and excel in a few, yet my hunger to do more, do them all better seems never ending. This constant state of lack leads to personal disappointment and frustration. I guess it is the whole theory of the more you know, the more you don’t know. Who knows?

On a positive note: there is always something more to learn and I will never run out of rabbit holes to pursue. It is a perspective issue at this point. I only have so much time on this earth and the one thing I know is that to get better at anything requires practice, more practice and time. It is the consistency over time that breeds proficiency. I played violin as a child and I played twinkle twinkle little star until my ears bled, but eventually my fingers knew where to go without ever thinking about it again and that (over years of practice) grew into what even I would consider beautiful music over time, even if just mediocre to most. I don’t play anymore, but I am glad I learned how to learn and had a sense of proficiency. Maybe the joy of learning to competency and expression is enough. I have no need of millions of dollars or followers, international accolades or a retrospective at the Whitney, but I wouldn’t be mad if I was recognized enough to support myself, express myself competently and authentically and feel confident in sharing my work with others.

Then the question of staying curious and engaged comes in strong as well. I have a wrestling match between doing the one same thing really really well or engaging in whatever piques my curiosity and excitement at any given time. Funny thought; I have two very different and interesting children and they are the perfect representations of these two styles of personality and they could both take a lesson from the other on occasion. Maybe this is the answer to my own question. An answer that basically applies to most areas of my life… Balance, trust my intuition and go do SOMETHING. There is no ‘right’ answer that fits all as much as we both desire it and abhor the thought.

Well, my head is a circus as I continue to juggle the monkeys that populate it… I have rambled long enough. Time to actually go paint.. ANYTHING.